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Monday, February 16, 2015  |  Personal

New beginnings :)

o, alot of you have noticed and asked about why I have been kind of hiding under a rock lately.... I had all these wonderful plans for the new year, gearing up for the blog, shoots, and just alot of fun ideas for JSP and Two Threaded Poppies. However, as life would have it, things usually don't go according to how I see it on pen and paper. Because, just after we welcomed in the new days of 2015, my husband and I were gifted with the news that we are expecting our first child in spring this year! 
Truth be told, we were not sure if we'd be the kind of couple that would want children... but God has amazing and funny ways of working in and changing even the most stubborn of hearts, and after being married for 6 years (and being together for about 15 in total), and finally feeling like we found some sort of rooted ground to plant our feet and hands into our marriage in the past 2 years, we felt like it would be the right time to think about extending our family of 2. My husband is beyond thrilled (he was probably more ready than I was haha), and I am a bundle of excitement, nerves, and panic all in one. It's a huge responsibility knowing you are carrying life inside you, and that you are totally in charge of what this little thing gets to grow healthily.  
Anyhow, that is why I have been so 'absent'. Being a person who has been fit, training/exercising, eating very healthy and the like for a long time, I stupidly thought being pregnant would be easy, but unfortunately, it hasn't been (another way God has taught me that I can do everything to be in control of something, but have it turn out completely out of my hands. So I am just praying to Him every day, and clinging onto His grace that He will carry me to full term in one piece!) - I've had pretty bad nausea which on alot of days has rendered me incapacitated to the bed almost all day, looking at my phone and computer made me dizzy, I am tired ALL THE TIME, even going up and down a flight of stairs or walking across the house to go to the toilet has made me go out of breathe and needing to sit to recover after...and it has made me really hate food! Anyone who knows me will know just now much I love eating and I have never been a fussy eater my whole life, however since becoming pregnant, my tastebuds have done a 180 on me and I no longer in control of what I can keep down.  
Now that I am about 10 weeks along, I am SO looking forward to this first trimester being over so I can understand why so many women call the next trimester the honeymoon period! Words cannot express how much I am looking forward to saying goodbye to the nausea, functioning like a human again, and enjoying my food once more.  
Before I continue, I thought it best to clarify and clear up a few pesky rumours that seem to have been floating around the past couple of months: 
1) Yes I have been more active on social media lately (mainly for the sake of business presence)... but that has been absolutely zero indication to how well or worse I have felt. Updating instagram/FB for even those single photos a day was really hard for me, making my head spin and needing to sit back down after. I know some have thought, oh Jenny is better now! And as a result, the emails that came in following up on work, and asking why I have been present at shoots was extremely stressful for me. Vincy, our studio manager did an amazing job informing all clients affected by this change in life before anyone else knew, just to respect clients and show them we care about keeping them in the loop, and if there were any updates, she would be the first to inform any of you. To everyone who respected my space during this time, I have really appreciated it and has really helped in keeping the stress levels of a pregnant lady down. Trust me when I say I am the first person who wants to be better and be well enough to resume work as per normal. I am not the type of person who enjoys sitting around debilitated, and unable to function like normal. Even this letter has taken me weeks to write when usually it would only take me about 20 mins to whip up. It has been extremely frustrating for me, as I have been used to being independent and fast moving my whole life. So when I say I want things to be back to normal, No one wants this more than I :) 
2) How have I been well enough to turn up to shoots? Firstly, I have had amazing team members to back me up. Secondly I had wonderful clients who allowed me to sit whenever I needed. And thirdly, any shoots that could have been moved, were moved.  
3) No, I am not closing down JSP :) In fact, we still have some slots left for this year but are now VERY VERY limited in number ... i can probably count them on my fingers :)  
To those that have been wondering what I will be doing with JSP now that I am going to become a mother (wow, even typing that does NOT sound normal! haha), we've already made all the necessary adjustments to accommodate the coming of this new little life, and unless you have heard from us, things will continue as per normal. We've been really blessed with the most understanding brides and grooms and I cannot tell you just how much that has meant to me - I've had real nightmares that involved psychotic screaming and tears for me to soothe over, but thankfully in real life, none of that panned out and only the sweetest messages of congratulations and smiles have come our way.  
Thank you to my entire team of 2nd shooters who have had my back on ALL shoots lately. I've felt so reassured working along side you at my wedding and portrait gigs. You are all so talented and kind and I call all of you my friends.  
To my family and especially my husband who has looked after me with as much patience as you can bear over the past few months, THANK YOU. There have been days where I have been so unwell and sick that I was overbearing for even myself to deal with, but it has meant everything to me that you have been by my side trying to keep me happy and comfortable. After being together for 15 years, this is such a massive milestone for Ju and I, and I'm really looking forward to figuring out this next chapter of our lives together, with God's wisdom and grace in tow.